We have all been caring for James for differing amounts of time: 1 year all the way through to 11 years. I personally, am now into my 7th year of caring for him! Poor lad – 7 years of looking at my face and tolerating not only my terrible singing, but also my appalling sense of humour! It’s a wonder he hasn’t fired me yet ?? Home schooling this morning was spent upside down (the therapy room is a place where “anything can happen if you let it”), and yesterday I am convinced I must have walked into work in some form of upside down as I found myself talking complete nonsense during James' morning handover, despite the fact that, in my head, it made perfect sense: I knew exactly what I was trying to say!
James has Cerebral Palsy (CP) and so medically, is often treated under the umbrella of Cystic Fibrosis (CF). He is currently recovering from his latest bout of pancreatitis while fighting, what we believe to be Clostridium difficile (C.Diff) (it is a good job James likes spending time in his bathroom)!! The two things are very different. But yesterday I very confidently said to James' night carer that he is treated as a C. Diff child! Upon reflection I might ask whether it can still be considered a blonde moment if all my hair dye is growing out due to lockdown, but when I learned of my mistake I found it far from funny (despite Christine’s belly laughter and near spitting out of her morning coffee when she found out)!
My mistake left me inwardly attacking my own professionalism; I found myself needing to recite (in my head) all the drugs he is allergic to just to remind myself that I do know what I am doing. 7 years of medical history that I have lived and breathed is a lot to carry round, not to mention fragments from the 9 years before I knew him. 7 years of learning who he is and adapting everyday to match his incredible growth and changes lead me to wonder if I should give myself a break…..
Strangely despite spending this morning upside down with him, I feel more of the right way up and more content with my error. The world we live in is not like any other, but it is ours and if James and I can continue to laugh and play, and cry and love, then I will spend as much time as I need to….
(Photo by Rafael Barros from Pexels)